They never show this part in the Lifetime movies.

Here's the thing about trauma: it gets SO BORING.

I am so tired of not being able to escape the issues in my head. I am tired of the anxiety. I am tired of the nightmares about being raped every night (I GOT IT, brain, SHUT UP). I am tired of the sometimes near-crippling fear that strangers might touch me when I am out in public. I am tired of pretending that I am fine, and I am tired at watching myself play-act at being fine from across the room, because I have fucking severe disassociative disorder.

It is just, frankly, annoying that I cannot ever get a break, I cannot ever just take all this baggage and shove it in the back of the closet and forget about it, even if just for a little while.

I am SO OVER MYSELF, you guys. I can't get away from myself, and I am boring myself to death.

So, in the spirit of not wanting to process anything right now, because I AM TOO TIRED FOR THIS BULLSHIT, have a cat!

Amouch, sleeping on my tummy while I try to read for class.