Sunday, March 28, 2010
Like herding cats
So. I have lots of thoughts, and they are all swimming around my head, and it's a little hard to marshal them at the moment. There is a momentous post building in my brain, but there are so many emotions and remembered memories and sudden realizations that I'm having a hard time tackling all of it enough to put it into words.
Also, I spent some time freaking out after the text message in the oh my god my rapist can find me vein such that I considered just shutting down the blog, lest he somehow find it. Because: he's done damage. He doesn't get to share in my recovery. But I have breathed through that, and Unnatural Forces still exists, and will continue to do so, because, you know. Fuck him.
It may, however, change appearance (again, yes). It feels a little claustrophobic to me, with the dark background around a narrow column and text, and I'd like it to feel more open (I am SO LITERAL, I know). This will take me some time, as I: a) do not have photoshop on my computer; b) do not have the time to download photoshop and use it; c) really struggle to make images and pictures look like I want them to look, but not enough to engage with the already mentioned photoshop; and d) am supposed to be writing a paper. So, if you visit Unnatural Forces and we look all wonky for a second, and then change, or whatever, that is what is going on.
Thank you to those who commented and gave support. It means a great deal. Thank you to those who have talked me through this, or listened. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I look forward to the day when my rape is not at the forefront of my brain and I can bitch again about Tom fucking Friedman.
Posted by Gayle Force at 2:35 PM