Seriously. Feel free to skip this.
If you're still here (no, really, you can go!), can I just ask: why the fuck does everything crappy happen at once? I mean, really. Because in the past three weeks, I have had:
- Four finals and a paper, none of the classes for which I have enjoyed this semester.
- My blog suddenly started getting heavy traffic, and the trolls have come out to tell me how much I suck (Also, dude who calls yourself "Concern Troll" after I called you that? You. Are not. Clever). I now have a folder in my gmail labeled "trolls!" in case I ever want to do anything with the love I am getting.
- Some neocon rightwing wackaloon quoted me on his blog and made an unkind comment about why I must be a former teacher (because I have poor communication skills, was I believe the gist) and this shouldn't bother me, but it does, because I was an awesome teacher, and I miss it, and it's like the equivalent to me of someone talking about my mama. You can talk all the shit about my mama you want, and I won't give a fuck, but talk about or pass judgment on me as a teacher, and I want to behead you (NOT literally). I am not linking, because this asshole doesn't deserve the pageviews.
- Someone I know in real life decided to start being REALLY nasty and try to get at me through the blog and required me to turn on comment moderation in the first place and generally prompted me to start the folder titled "restraining order" in my gmail just in case.
- One of my roommates, who has given the other three of us in the house problems for ages, decided to act even MORE scarily irrational and unhinged than usual and make my life veeeeery difficult to the tune of AT LEAST 15 emails a day FOR THE PAST WEEK, which I then had to send a lawyer friend because she (the roommate) has started threatening to call the police on my roommates and me (for being mean, you guys. Seriously), and have started documenting that in a folder in my gmail labeled "sniveling git."
- I have had to work out all this international-law-conference-in-Dublin stuff for myself and a journal colleague, which is just a pain.
- MY MOTHER KEEPS CALLING ME. This never goes well (see above bit where I don't give a shit if you talk about my mama, because I've probably said worse), but she is in her, "My daughter and I are going to be best friends!" stage of her borderline personality disorder cycle, which I may prefer even less than her, "I am going to be an evil harpy" stage (I know "harpy" is a really sexist term, but fuck it).
- All the news I read is fucking terrible. Seriously, with Arizona, and all the anti-choice abortion bills, and like everything else, the news is just a Major Bummer lately.
So. I have things to write about! That don't involve complaining and do involve a modicum of thought! They're just going to have to wait a bit for now, until I am feeling done with my pity party. It's super fun here, with sad clown napkins and black balloons and no cake AT ALL, just like an empty cake tray to stare at wistfully, but eventually I will be done with it, and ready to move on. And you'll all be the first to know when that happens.
I really hope you are all doing fabulously, my dear Readers. If not, I will totally come to your pity party, too. We can hold one together, and play games like musical chairs where the music is provided by a broken, wheezing accordion and there are no chairs and everyone loses. It will be awesome.
I am having a shitty morning (woke up from a really frightening nightmare, I'm still upset) but you seem to be having a shitty month. You need a break from the Internet when the finals are over. And, obviously, a break from nasty people in your life and a crappy roommate and trolls and... um, yeah. Hope it gets better. :hugs:
ReplyDeleteAnd, yeah, the news is extra shitty with these fucking laws.
Oh no! I'm sorry you woke from a terrible nightmare! That is always so upsetting - it just seems to follow you the rest of the day.
ReplyDeleteSo {{hugs}} back!
Quick fly-by hugs for both of you, if you would like!
ReplyDelete(Now I am off to sort some laundry.)
Yikes! You certainly do have enough shit going on to warrant a pity party. However, one must have real cake at a pity party, and one must know the rule about musical chairs: you can't lose if you don't play. Works every time. Seriously, I'm sorry you've got so much additional yuckiness to deal with. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI have had you in my thoughts and god, you didn't need any of that additional shit.
ReplyDeleteI've been a bit down too, and the oil spill just makes me feel worse (heaped on Arizona's crap, abortion laws, disgusting bankers, and stuff :(.)
Then I had a million good ideas that I feel unable to pursue and then feel down about, MAJOR SHIT from my boss, a small stomach bug and other bull shit.
I'm with you. Get this week in hindsight, ASAP. Or send in the morbid clowns and such.
Whoa, the bit about the BPD mum... I wasn't expecting that, and I'd just like to tell you how much I understand that slice of what you're going through, as my mother also has BPD. I've never broached that topic with my online persona, but perhaps I should someday. Something about your scary roomate also set off some PD alarms for me as well. I'm so sorry you have to deal with THAT on top of everything else.
ReplyDeleteI've been following your blog since you were first linked by Sady, and I really enjoy all your posts, even if I don't comment a lot. I admire and support you. :)
Thanks, lady! I have read your blog, and I think it is stellar.
ReplyDeleteYeah, BPD moms. Fuck blog posts; we could write novels on that shit.
I, actually, have really grown and learned to handle my mother well, but only maybe in the last year? Something just changed . . . or, you know, I think I just finally stopped needing a mom. I mean, we all always need a mom, but I think I stopped expecting one? I don't know. But it got better. I don't know how old you are, but I am 30, and I can say: if you're not there yet, it gets easier.
Someday, we will talk about this - maybe we can have a blog back and forth? :)
Sounds good! I'm still struggling with it a lot - it goes from fights, to silence, to disowning, to peachy, to fights... Finding out about the disorder was a huge relief though. It's not just me or my family!
ReplyDeleteDistance (and humour) totally helps though.
Humor helps so much! Often I'll relay a story about my mother, and laugh my ass off, while the other person will get all uncomfortable and say, "That's not funny. That's awful."
ReplyDeleteWhich, you know, I know, but after 30 years of dealing with it, it is ALSO pretty funny.