Silvana and I both had a bit of a hard day, and I think we had a little bit too much of rape today, in general and our own, and we both spent some time crying. But THEN: there was this chat conversation. And we both lived happily ever after. The end.
leblanc: i hate stupid rape
gayle: ME TOO
let's ban rape
leblanc: i am laughing
"i hate stupid rape" is funny
gayle: i know!
i can imagine yelling at it
like a dog that peed on the floor
leblanc: i want to go to all the rapists
I HATE YOUR STUPID RAPEY FACE
SHUT YOUR RAPE FACE
"stupid rape!! NO!"
gayle: i want to be able to like, throw them out of the house and make them whine at the back door
now these are funny rape jokes
we should totally blog this chat
gayle: funny rape jokes exist!
gayle: just, like, NEVER when men make them, and only when rape victims make them, mostly
i am cracking up
which is good
because i was pointlessly weeping for a while there
gayle: seriously, if we could teach rape to sit and stay and throw it outside when it misbehaves, we'd all be ok
leblanc: give it a treat when it doesn't act like a fucking asshole
gayle: and it will never get any cookies. ever.
leblanc: what about dog biscuits
gayle: because then it will beg at the table
we dont want that.
no fucking chicken bones for you, rape
i would rather throw the bone DOWN THE DISPOSAL AND RUIN IT
than give you a tasty bone
leblanc: i would rather have to pay $400 to a plumber to fix my disposal
then let rape eat my chicken bones
gayle: and ol' yeller made me cry, but i think that would be ok to pull that on rape
like, i am ok with rape maybe being taken out to the barn and shot when it's time
and everyone will go YAY
leblanc: the kids might cry
when rape dies in the hay
gayle: it's rape. no one will miss it
leblanc: and i will be like SORRY KIDS RAPE IS DEAD
gayle: i'd be nice and let them bury it in the back yard
leblanc: that's very magnanimous
gayle: like, i wouldn't insist it be flushed down the toilet
leblanc: although it would totally ruin your garden forever
that is not the kind of fertilizer you want for the petunias.
gayle: yeah, but teaching kids healthy emotions about death and all
leblanc: you would end up with a tim burton garden
with dead-ass flowers and shit
gayle: i was just thinking that
like, the flowers would grow dead
i reject that rape is that powerful
because i think once you shoot it and bury it
it is over!
you know the bit in monty python where they eat the minstrels and there was much rejoicing? LIKE THAT
even though we have both cried today
because of stupid rape
we are also
and way more successful than our stupid rapists will ever be
gayle: OH FUCK
i left shit in the oven
leblanc: go get it!