Instead of writing a post about rape, I am giving you a chat conversation about rape. Because I still don’t feel well.

So, ok. 

Silvana and I both had a bit of a hard day, and I think we had a little bit too much of rape today, in general and our own, and we both spent some time crying. But THEN: there was this chat conversation. And we both lived happily ever after. The end. 


leblanc: i hate stupid rape 
gayle: ME TOO
let's ban rape 
leblanc: i am laughing 
because
"i hate stupid rape" is funny 
gayle: i know! 
  i laughed 
  i can imagine yelling at it
  like a dog that peed on the floor 
leblanc: i want to go to all the rapists 
  and say
  I HATE YOUR STUPID RAPEY FACE 
  SHUT YOUR RAPE FACE  
gayle: HAHAHAHA 
  "stupid rape!! NO!" 
leblanc: hahahahahhahaa 
  BAD RAPIST! 
gayle: i want to be able to like, throw them out of the house and make them whine at the back door
  BAD! NO! 
leblanc: see, 
 now these are funny rape jokes
 we should totally blog this chat 
gayle: funny rape jokes exist! 
leblanc: hahaha 
gayle: just, like, NEVER when men make them, and only when rape victims make them, mostly 
leblanc: basically. 
  i am cracking up 
  which is good 
  because i was pointlessly weeping for a while there 
gayle: seriously, if we could teach rape to sit and stay and throw it outside when it misbehaves, we'd all be ok 
leblanc: give it a treat when it doesn't act like a fucking asshole 
gayle: and it will never get any cookies. ever. 
  NO 
  NO TREATS 
leblanc: what about dog biscuits 
  NEVER? 
gayle: because then it will beg at the table 
leblanc: oh. 
  we dont want that.
  no fucking chicken bones for you, rape 
  i would rather throw the bone DOWN THE DISPOSAL AND RUIN IT 
  than give you a tasty bone 
gayle: HAHAHAHA 
leblanc: i would rather have to pay $400 to a plumber to fix my disposal 
  then let rape eat my chicken bones 
gayle: and ol' yeller made me cry, but i think that would be ok to pull that on rape 
  like, i am ok with rape maybe being taken out to the barn and shot when it's time
  and everyone will go YAY 
leblanc: the kids might cry
 when rape dies in the hay 
gayle: it's rape. no one will miss it 
leblanc: and i will be like SORRY KIDS RAPE IS DEAD 
gayle: i'd be nice and let them bury it in the back yard 
leblanc: that's very magnanimous 
gayle: like, i wouldn't insist it be flushed down the toilet 
leblanc: although it would totally ruin your garden forever 
  that is not the kind of fertilizer you want for the petunias. 
gayle: yeah, but teaching kids healthy emotions about death and all 
leblanc: you would end up with a tim burton garden 
  with dead-ass flowers and shit 
gayle: i was just thinking that 
  like, the flowers would grow dead 
leblanc: hahahaha 
gayle: ACTUALLY 
  no 
  i reject that rape is that powerful 
  because i think once you shoot it and bury it 
  it is over!
  you know the bit in monty python where they eat the minstrels and there was much  rejoicing? LIKE THAT 
leblanc: truth! 
  because! 
  even though we have both cried today 
  because of stupid rape
  we are also 
  EXTREMELY AWESOME
  and way more successful than our stupid rapists will ever be 
gayle: OH FUCK 
  i left shit in the oven 
  NOT AWESOME 
leblanc: go get it! 
gayle: HA!