I write letters.

Dear abusive person,

I hope you get trampled by a MARMALADE OF PONIES.*

Or maybe?:

WHICHEVER.  Seriously, just fuck off now.

-  Gayle

* For the rest of you, it will make your day - go check out the list of animal group names.  Because not only are a bunch of ponies a "marmalade," but a group of girafffes is a "stretch," and a passel of sharks is a "shiver."   Ha ha, OF COURSE THEY ARE.