So, I have three new roommates. The crazy old roommate who drove everyone batty and my two other perfectly agreeable roommates all finished their masters programs and have gone forth to other things. One of my three new roommates, M., the one who lives on the top floor with me, is just lovely. She is smart and funny and very enjoyable to be around. We tend to make fun of my other two roommates who came as a pair, and who are very young, and immature, and act like children, and are also, just, well . . . dumb. The two of them combined have less good sense than a dresser drawer.
These two dim people are also just crappy roommates - they leave shit everywhere and never clean up after themselves and let the mail pile up by the door because they just throw it on a chair and ignore dirty dishes for ages and if they make a mess they just walk away from it, etc. You may have had these roommates. They have, by any objective standard, the world's worst taste in music, and they insist on playing it as loud as fucking possible. Also, they must be the kids we were warned about who would grow up on youtube and thus develop ADD, or something, because they can't even finish a shitty song without switching to another shitty song. They have bitchy catty screaming fights with each other (I know the implications of using bitchy and catty, I am using them on purpose - last time they fought as LOUD AS POSSIBLE at MIDNIGHT, they were fighting over who was really flirting with a boy or not or something. They are backstabby to each other). Their favorite movie is John Tucker Must Die. One of them, her favorite books are the Twilight series; the other, her favorite book is The Secret, and she owns the movie (did you know there was a movie? Me neither. There is).
So. Ok. About a week ago, there started to be this awful, rancid-food smell in the downstairs. It would hit you as soon as you walked into the front door. It just pervaded the first floor (or ground floor, for you Europeans), and it was getting worse. It wasn't coming from the trash, and so the source was just kinda a mystery. M. wondered if the cats had killed something and left it somewhere, but we'd never had any mice or anything before. I decided it was coming from the drain in the kitchen sink, as it was really strong right around there, and M. agreed. After grabbing breakfast at the diner this morning, M. and I stopped by the market and picked up white vinegar and a lemon (because, clearly, if we didn't deal with this, the other roommates sure as hell wouldn't). We dumped the vinegar down the sink, waited a bit, and then I threw a lemon through the garbage disposal. The stench seemed to subside, somewhat, although that may only be because the kitchen now smelled like vinegar and lemon.
About an hour ago, I went downstairs to make dinner, and the stink was STILL THERE. Ok, I told myself, we just need to air out the house. It's just lingering. I went to make food, and decided I really wanted some steamed broccoli to toss in my salad. And because it was such a little amount, I figured I'd just steam it in a bowl in the microwave. I dumped the chopped broccoli in a little round tupperware and opened the microwave door.
The stench slammed me in the fucking face. I staggered back like I had actually been physically struck and started gagging. It was so disgusting, I thought I would retch. Inside the microwave was chicken breast, still in the package from the store but the plastic distended to its utmost due to the rotting, gone all liquidy and greenish and generally just decomposing in the most odorous manner it could.
Someone put that chicken in the microwave at least a week ago and forgot it.
Thank god I am a vegetarian; if I weren't already, I might have just become one.
And also, after law school, I am never ever ever ever ever having fucking roommates again. The end.
So as it turns out, now when the mircrowave is used, as I tried this morning, that foul smell left by the chicken just fills the kitchen again. I've cleaned the damn thing out with white vinegar, twice. Any ideas how I can get rid of the lingering smell? Will baking soda do the trick, you think? Or are we just going to have to wait this out?
One of those two roommates came to see me late last night, after I'd already wrote the post. It turns out the two roommates I wrote about are not speaking - the one who left the chicken in the microwave has a boyfriend, but has been cheating on him, and actively going after the boy that this lady who was confiding to me likes. The bad-chicken lady has been, in fact, saying TERRIBLE THINGS about this lady confiding to me, to the boy the confiding lady wants to date. Then I got a WAY too much information story about the bad-chicken lady getting pregnant with a boy while cheating on her boyfriend and then lying to her boyfriend and saying it was his and getting him to pay for the abortion several years ago.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE, YOU GUYS???
Third Update (I KNOW):
I was just gmail chatting with a friend of mine who has met my roommates, albeit briefly. I sent her this post, and this is how the conversation went:
R: i have to know if pregnancy girl was "twilight" or the secret
me: twilight!!!R: HAHAHAHA OF COURSE