Gayle didn't actually buy herself anything frivolous this year; she lusted, that she did, but she ended up buying instead an awful lot of expensive winter running gear after spending a chunk of money signing up for the D.C. half marathon in March, but since she has been running in windchill 10 degree weather, she has been sending a hell of a lot of thanks to whomever has invented this expensive winter running gear because it is incredibly effective and indeed worth every penny when the freezing wind is blowing full force at her and she is FINE, SO. Also, she apparently has purchased a great deal of real estate in the Third Person. I don't know.
So seeing as I didn't buy myself anything this year that I don't actually need, here's the list of things I really, really want for Christmas. Get on this, Jesus.
- I want the entire world to rise up together and condemn solitary confinement and call it what it is: torture. At the very least, it is cruel, inhuman, and degrading treatment. I want every government to recognize that it is an affront to dignity of humankind, a blight upon our collective morality and conscience, and I want it never, ever used again.
- I want whistleblowers to get human rights defender status. Because that is what they are. Whistleblowers are sometimes the only thing protecting us from the excesses of power and secrecy, and they are heroes, every one. I want people (especially the U.S. media) to stop worshipping at the feet of power and get some goddamn problems with authority.
- I want Congress to stop being the most EMBARRASSING! ELECTED! BODY! EVER! And I would like it to stop being utterly corrupted by money, money that Justice Kennedy called "speech." Conflating money with speech is as threatening to a democracy as you can imagine. And as a corollary, I would like the Courts to find their backbone and do their job, which is being the only effective check that we have on the insane and murderous excesses of the executive branch. BUCK UP, YOUR HONORS. We need you.
- I want white Southerners to stop invoking their treason-in-defense-of-owning-black-people as their proud heritage. The Confederacy formed to defend slavery. Don't pretend otherwise, you assholes.
- I want to nail making skillet cornbread. It is surprisingly hard to find a good recipe.